A Living Christmas Nightmare

Dear Friends,

I must apologize. This year the posts will be limited. I’m making the transition into adulthood and am blessed to move out of my family home. I am so thankful that I have a job that allows me to live in my own apartment, far away from the Christmas hell.

The day after Thanksgiving is traditionally the day all the neighbors pull out the Christmas lights. The weather was so nice… everyone was out decorating in short sleeve shirts.

My dad has been phasing out our old strands of lights and replacing them with LED lights. LED is so much brighter. It makes the house glow. This year the lights are white and blue… I think it looks more like a Hanukkah house. My dad also wanted to make new lawn characters. He spent all night in the garage cutting out characters and making my mom make paint runs.

Here’s a look at some of the lights the night they went out. It’s probably the only night the neighbors get to stand outside and enjoy their artwork without the traffic.

yours truly,

k

The outside Christmas decorations are put away. It’s actually quiet at night. IT’S OVER!!! Praise be to God.

Until next year…

Dear Blog,

Thank you for helping me keep my sanity. I survived without any mental break downs or strong desires to scream “f*%$ you” to every car that drove by.

And to the lady who said, “Your house looks really great,” I didn’t respond because I don’t care.

-K

Dear Rain,

Thank you for keeping the cars and the pedestrians away. Please don’t go away and stay another (three) days. Thank you.

Your Friend

K

NO L

I already have a problem with the four hours of non-stop traffic every night, but sometimes pedestrians really push my buttons. I didn’t ask you to come to my neighborhood, and I most definitely did not invite you on my front lawn.

The other night I was attempting to nap before my closing shift at the mall (I didn’t get off of work until 12:30 AM) when I heard unusually loud screaming outside my window. I opened the shutter to find a six year old standing in front of my window. He was touching the decorations (which are fragile and weather beaten). I knocked loudly on the window and shooed him away. When he heard me (he didn’t realize that I was inside—just like everyone else who forgets that people actually live inside these houses), a look of terror crossed his face and he went running. I wish I had a picture of his face. It was priceless. Yes I like to emit fear in the hearts of little children. I only do it because it’s dangerous for them to be on my front lawn. There are a lot of black electric cords strung across the lawn. If you’re not careful you could trip, take down all the lawn lights, and possibly hurt yourself.

Here’s a child on another neighbor’s lawn. See the electric cords on the ground? Lucky for her, the grass is short. The grass on my front lawn is tall and hides the cords.

Possible injury lawsuit? Yes. I hope we get a good lawyer.

dear santa….

Despite driving through a light decorated streets, it is still important for people to keep their headlights on because the street itself is dark. 

Dark colored cars are almost invisible at night. Parking lights are a good idea. Headlights are the best.

Relief in beauty

I went walking around the neighborhood to collect evidence of all the dangerous things people do, and other interesting things. The following series will depict this idea.

case 1: children in danger

children hanging out of moving cars. I also saw a mother holding her toddler’s feet while he hung out the window.

Children standing in sun and moon roofs of SUVs. Brake too hard, child goes flying.

Sorry bad photo. Children sitting in open doors of minivans, with no restraint of course.

Parents please consider the well being of your children when you’re driving in our neighborhood. Is thirty minutes of free light decorations worth the life of your child?